DBT Self Help

Week 24: Life To The Fullest

When you get an image in your head of someone who is ‘Living Life to the Fullest’ what sort of things do you imagine them doing? Maybe riding on a jet ski, bungee jumping and meeting beautiful people at parties all night long, then sleeping in till PM most days? Well, I am about to shock you because that saying ‘Living Life to the Fullest’ was first quoted from an insurance marketing campaign in Sri Lanka and the full line is ‘we are here to help you live life to the fullest, with the people you love.’ and it was about selling you funeral insurance! Yes, I was as shocked as you, but it really is the truth. So knowing the truth behind that saying we can look at it in a whole new way…

Week 24: Life To The Fullest

When someone tells you they are ‘Living Life to the Fullest’ it doesn’t necessarily mean this jet-set/action-packed lifestyle. It could just mean they are living their lives worry-free much like the origins of the original saying. I put my hand on my heart and tell you that I am living the best days of my life. I have a nice house, a car and a wonderful, loving husband. But we have our own issues, especially with all the covid troubles taking away most of my income, there have been a few times in the last few months when money has been…tight to say the least. But I don’t worry about it. We have each other, we have a roof over our heads for now and we will face anything we come across together. I’m not burying my head in the sand about my life issues and I am not lying to myself. I am just choosing not to let those worries control my life.

If I asked someone with BPD what their own end-goals would be, they will often tell me that they just want to live a “normal” life again, before they started to lose control of themselves and indeed their lives. Sadly the truth is you have BPD! It is not something that can ever be seen as cured and you might never live as you once did. But guess what? You can learn to live life to the fullest. You can learn to gain control of your emotions, you can learn to slow down that thought process and make rational choices in your life. You can be seen to live a “normal” life, even if it is only on the surface. Having BPD means you will probably suffer from certain aspects of it for life, but those aspects don’t have to control your life.

When I think of someone living life to their fullest I just imagine someone being able to go to work, being able to have relationships with others and maybe even having a love interest! When you see someone walking down the street smiling, it doesn’t mean they have just won the lottery or have an “Instagram” lifestyle. It might just mean they are themselves living life worry-free. If you choose to smile rather than frown you can, there is nothing stopping you and then maybe someone who sees you walking down the street will believe you are yourself living life to its fullest.

Week 24: Life To The Fullest

This Week’s Homework: It’s going to be an easy one this week because what I want you to do is watch a few comedy films. What you watch is up to you, but I love movies like Liar Liar, Planes, Trains & Automobiles or even the classic Naked Gun series of films. Why? Because when you are laughing and smiling at the movies you love I want you to consider that at that exact moment, in that current moment of time you are yourself living life to the fullest. Do let me know what you watched yourself and I am always open to new movies.

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Week 25: You Are Here!

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