Product Review – Deadweight (An Autobiographical Novel About BPD)

Product Review – Deadweight (An Autobiographical Novel About BPD)

Product Type – Book
By – Nick Crutchley (Author)
Price at Time of Review – £9.95
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Description: Grief and simmering rage. Depression, anxiety and emptiness. Rapid mood swings and a fragile self-identity. All spiral into the deadweight, an inescapable shadow consuming a young adult’s heart. Warring parents, a broken family and the sudden death of a loved one drive Nick Crutchley to seek meaning in religion, mysticism and the occult. His path leads him not to peace and happiness, but a delusionary world built on suppressed emotions and magical thinking. After Nick’s reality shifts, he adopts another personality and soon becomes lost in his new identity, substance abuse and fear.

Review: I feel the first thing to talk about with this book is this warning. Do be aware that this book is VERY TRIGGERING for those of us with BPD and talks about things many of us will find difficult to read. This book is clearly written by someone with a very good understanding of what it means to suffer from BPD, but yet there are also elements of fantasy as the ‘protagonists’ story moves forward in life. So it has the air of a story, but also many elements of truth that are hard to read and swallow.

I loved the way the author used the autobiographical style to talk about difficult things and if you read between the lines you can soon find a lot of things many of us with BPD know all too well (again a reminder of that trigger warning). Reading this book made me feel not so alone, knowing that the protagonist is on much the same journey through life that I have had. Sure it was hard to read at times, but I felt comforted by his life story and struggles. It is the play on words and indeed the autobiographical style that really made this book shine for me. That hard-hitting truth of BPD, mixed with the fantasy telling made it a joy to read and I personally found it very thought-provoking from start to finish. I really can’t recommend it enough provided you are aware it could be triggering.

Overall Rating – 5/5

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