Before there is a witch hunt on me, I need to set the title of this post straight. This post is not being negative about BPD mums, it’s not even being negative about therapy, it’s about how BPD works as a whole and the title is based on the results of a real-world study done by the UCL (University College London). The truth is, the results are rather interesting, but also a little odd. Let’s just get into this study so we can find out a little more…
While it isn’t the biggest study of its kind the UCL investigated how three participants with BPD traits experienced changes in their relationship with their infants after engaging in an attachment focussed parent-infant psychotherapy (also known as PIP). Without getting too wordy or deeply into the study the results found that receiving therapy while still with a child under the age of 5 can actually have negative effects on the person rather than positive ones.
What is also odd about this study is that they found the parents put more time and effort into their children and less time into themselves. Putting things simply it was as if they were transferring their newly learned therapy skills onto their parenting side, rather than themselves as they should. Meanwhile, their own mental health sadly started to deteriorate the better the parenting skills become. Changes like lower levels of distress tolerance, poorer coping strategies started to manifest themselves as they put more of their time and themselves into becoming a parent.
It’s an interesting study for sure and you can read more about it HERE. While many people say those of us with BPD are self-centred and self-absorbed I think this study shows the opposite, especially when it comes to our parenting skills. It is well worth considering if starting therapy while still looking after a little one is the right option and what is why I thought this study was worth a share with you all.
