After being diagnosed with BPD a few years ago there were some consistent observations I was noticing about myself and the world around me. While at first, I chalked them down to being just about me, I soon noticed other people in the same situation noticed them as well. If you have BPD I guarantee you would have noticed one of these five things happening…
People will not understand you
The first thing I noticed was that people simply don’t understand BPD or the diagnosis. If you tell a friend you have Borderline Personality Disorder, I guarantee that, if they’re not a psychologist and will probably never have heard of it before or simply dismiss it. It’s not their fault they have never heard of it, but it is still very frustrating having to explain the finer details of BPD only to see their eyes roll into the back of their head.
What feels right at first is usually wrong, wrong, wrong
Your natural reactions to stressful events tend to exacerbate the stress of that event. Borderlines often feel the most extreme version of a feeling. A fight with your partner can almost instantly send you into a head-exploding rage or a major, debilitating depression. At this point, you start to split on them and they become all evil, but tomorrow they will be all good again and for your partner, this can be frustrating.
Sometimes you’re the villain
After finding out you have BPD, it’s necessary to review your life, particularly those times when you felt wronged. Some of those “So-and-So effed me over royally” moments from your past suddenly seem to have new meaning. There are times when you will have to accept that you did the wrong thing and that is a hard pill to swallow.
You have a love/hate relationship with your diagnosis
Your life has most likely been…colourful. Finally knowing what your role is in the insufferable pain you feel (and sometimes cause) can be a massive relief. Be honest with people about your life and more importantly be honest with your therapist as they are the ones trying to fix you. This is not an easy thing to do, but it is necessary in order to move forward with your life.
You’ve got some extra baggage.
Statistically, you’re more likely to also be an alcoholic, cutter, habitual shoplifter, gambler, pill-popper, frequent overdrafter dipper and a reckless driver and all those extra things will need to be addressed as well. It’s not as simple as getting diagnosed with BPD and all your answers are there, you will need to deal with all the negative things in your life as well.
Did anyone else discover these things as well? If you did please do let me know in the comments below so I don’t feel so alone.