Last week I told you not to be the Judge Jury and Executioner of your own emotions and thoughts, but there are times when your thoughts and feelings are more than justified. The hard truth is most people who suffer from BPD have a very good reason for having the disorder in the first place. This week we will be trying to face some of those hard truths and find out how best to deal with them…
In a medical paper titled ‘Childhood adversity and borderline personality disorder‘ a study on more than 1000 people with BPD found a massive 70% of them had indeed gone through at least one traumatic experience in childhood. And of that 70%, 36.4% said they were victims of physical abuse and 32% of sexual abuse. While you can argue that those raised with parents with BPD can also get this disorder this will often lead to the child suffering from some sort of trauma just because the parent has BPD, even if it is only neglect (which is still a terrible trauma and something should never have happened.)
The reason I bring up these rather triggering numbers is that no matter how hard you are finding your BPD you should know what you are not alone. Many people with BPD seeded from the most severe forms of abuse and neglect do end up taking these same self-help courses you are currently reading. Even in those darkest of times and thoughts, you can find a light. If you are one of those people I want you to know how proud I would be of you for surviving so much and still being here to read this.
The hard truth here is that you are still reading this, you are still alive and you have survived all that darkness already in your life. Learning to live with your BPD should be nothing in comparison to what many of you with BPD have already endured. You are the survivors, you are the fighters. It’s OK to feel sad and angry now and again because the world has let you down, but you didn’t let past trauma get in the way of your life, so why should you do the same now? When you stop for a moment and realise how far you have already come in life you will soon discover that moving forward just a little more to deal with your current issues is just a small step.
Severely traumatic events are believed to have the greatest effect on long-term health both mentally and indeed psychically, but do be aware if you suspect that past trauma is affecting your life, there is help. Talking face to face with a trained therapist can help you reframe what happened to you and help you move past it. Or if that is not an option try yoga, tai chi, or meditation as a way to ground yourself and gain control of your life a little more. You might not think self-help pages like this one will help much with past trauma, but I promise you they will. If you are willing to fully embrace the teachings you will indeed start to feel better at the end of it all.
And…relax. I know that was a hard topic to read about this week, so there is no homework. I just want you to take some time out to realise that you are more than justified in having a few bad days here and there because the hard truth is you are probably deserved in having them.